Today I ran across this lovely Stepparents' Oath that was very touching and, of course prompted me to think about the issue of dealing with a stepparent when Co-Parenting.
For many parents in Co-Parenting situations, having a peaceful acceptance of a new stepparent can prove extremely difficult and can test the patience of even the most 'enlightened' of parents. For me, this was one of the hardest aspects of Co-Parenting...and...in my most trying moments I will admit that it can still be challenging.
I was, however, inspired by reading the Stepparent's Oath, and in the spirit of peaceful cooperation for the sake of the 'littles' in Co-Parenting families - I began wondering what an enlightened "Parent's Oath" would be.
If I were to write a Parent's Oath for my child....
Would it be to love you so much that rather than being threatened by a healthy, loving stepparent, I would instead learn to be so happy for you that another person came into your life who loves you and adores you as I do?
Would it be to vow to love any person (stepparent or otherwise) in your life who has a healthy, loving relationship with you - and appreciate their part in filling up your heart with love?
Would I promise to always put your needs and best interests - even as it relates to your other family, your family when you're apart from me?
Would I always work to be an enlightened role model for you - even when transferring you into the arms of your stepparent?
Would I always be available to listen, help, and support your relationship with your other parent and stepparent?
When dealing with your other parent and stepparent, should I be sure to act in a way that brings more peace and stability to your life, rather than adding drama?
When you tell me what a lovely time you had getting ice cream with your stepparent, should I enthusiastically smile, be genuinely happy for you and ask what flavor of ice cream you had?
Should I promise to smile and wave when seeing your stepparent at sporting and school events, to let you know that it's okay that we're all here supporting you together?
Should I promise to love you with my whole heart - in such a way and degree that there is no room for my ego and jealousy of your other parent or stepparent - and put your needs above mine always and in all matters?
Would it be that no matter what, I will always know that the more people who love 'my' little the better?
And know that no matter what, each person that you share a loving relationship with will always hold a sacred and unique bond with you? And instead of viewing the love that others have with you as threatening, I will honor that love and be so happy for you that you have so many people in your lil' world who love you?
Yes. For you, little one - I would do just that.